Friday, November 19, 2010

At last..

Well here it is, Thanksgiving break. I finished school today and went home and packed to go to Albuquerque for the weekend. I am going to spend some time with my grandparents. It's always a fantastic time, and I know I am going to enjoy myself. I can't believe this semester is almost over. Honestly, I can't wait. I'm so tired. College was supposed to be great fun..and honestly, I can't stand it. I try to have a positive attitude, but it's just not what I expected. I thought I was going to come to school and make a lot of great friends, but so far it has been disappointing. I am frustrated, to say the least. Thoughts of transfer have crossed my mind, but I just don't know if that would make me any happier. I think I am just disappointed in myself. I always wanted so much more for myself than staying here in New Mexico. I had dreams of going to New York, I had dreams of even going to West Texas, and last but not least, I had dreams of going to University of Arizona. Never was my dream to be in Las Cruces...yet here I am. I feel like I didn't do enough to get where I had hoped..and now all I can think of is my disappointment. Las Cruces isn't the place for me...but I don't know what that place is. People probably just think I am whining, but if they really knew me, they'd know that I don't just whine about stuff like this. I know I have a good opportunity, but I'm just not happy. Sad as that is.

I'm hoping that over break, I will see my family and friends and obtain enough energy to get myself through the rest of the year. As of now, I'm going crazy and am kind of pushing people away. Even the best people in my life I'm constantly unsatisfied with. I don't know what the deal is, but I desperately want it fixed....

Sorry for the rant.

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